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Major Update:
jas_ak_clarke
It's been forever since I've posted anything here. I remember just wanting to leave this journal in the dust, and I did do that for five years.

After Mc Ewan and I split up I started really searching for who I was.

I did have a few more relationships that where not what I needed or wanted before I started to focus on myself.
D was a trans guy who I lived with for nine months. That relationship was extremely dysfunctional. I don't want to talk about it online. We aren't friends.
Near the end of that relationship I started talking to Shayne again, and building our friendship to it's current healthy state. I also started openly identifying as male.
The last monogamous relationship I had was with a genderqueer drag king who was visiting for a year from Ireland. J really wanted to immigrate here, and still does. J visits for Van Pride and her birthday, but doesn't have the qualifications to immigrate here yet. J and I are extremely different in so many ways, but we did have a lot of fun together when we where not arguing about political correctness, practical finances, and ethical differences. The sex was good, lol.

Now I have a career as a care service worker.
I'm currently "in transition," on leave from work, healing from my hystorechtomy. I've been using this time to take a second crack at writing my biography. This includes digging out all the old journal entries, and rereading them all to figure out what's going into my book. Reliving some of these memories has been intense, but good.
...
I'm Micael now. I stopped going by Jazz in 2008.
Been living openly as a man for nearly 4 years.

My birth father contacted me five years ago, and we have spent some time together in person getting to know each other. That has been slow going since he lives in Australia, and only visits once every other year, but it's been good for me to get to know him. He has a lot of guilt for not being in my life while I was growing up, but I don't have any bad feelings toward him anymore. I made sure to tell him I forgive him. Eventually I hope he forgives himself. From finding out he was born and raised in Fiji, that he is half Indo-Fijian and half native Fijian, I realized. I'm half black.

My whole life my mom said to me, "you're half east Indian," because that's what my birth dad and his family said, but that's not so at all. Fiji has it's own rich tribal culture that my father was taken away from when his father put him in a residential school on the other side of the island, away from his village and his mother. Needless to say, he doesn't like to talk about it. So, me being keen on knowing my roots, I have been studying a bit, and decided to go to Fiji next spring.
...
I moved between North Vancouver and East Vancouver a few times in the past six years, spent 6 months in Coquitlam living with my sister and her kids, and settled in East Van for the past year and a half. I love it here and I'm not moving around anymore.

I'm living polyamorously. Figuring out that I'm poly has been very liberating. Although there is a huge lack of romance in my life currently. I know that it won't stay that way forever, and it is nice having a few close people in my life that I can be totally honest, and at times intimate with.

Well, it's late so I'm going to crash, but I wish you all well.
-Mic

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